Pavlov's Dogs and Cell Phone Usage

THE PROBLEM WITH CELL PHONES is that they are invasive. There was a story about a Wise Man who was in his living room with a Young Boy. There came a knock on the door and the Wise Man sat without moving. The Young Boy asked, "aren't you going to answer the door"? To which the Wise Man replied, "If I answered the door every time I heard a knock I would be as simple as Pavlov's dogs. And fortunately I am the ruler of my choices". This of course got me thinking about my cell phone. Every time the thing rang I would pick it up. I could be in the middle of eating and I stopped to pick it up the phone. Like a mindless robot. So I stopped answering it all together - I let everyone leave a message and I call them back AT MY CONVENIENCE. And of course everyone (and I mean everyone) complains about how they can never get in touch with me. WELL FOR ALL OF YOU COMPLAINERS HERE ARE MY CELL PHONE RULES:
(A) if you call me private or your name doesn't come up on the little blue screen - I'm definitely not picking up your damn call - when I answer the door I ask "who it is" - I'm certainly not opening it if there's a sign there that says "PRIVATE" - as for all of you privacy nuts that are afraid if your number or name comes up on someone else's phone the CIA may get a hold of it and drag you off to their SECRET DETENTION CENTER in New Mexico - this is the price you must pay. Leave me a message and I might call you back;
(B) To the other 48 people a day whose names actually come up on the little blue thing - if I don't pick it up one of four things is happening (1) I don't want to talk to you (and you probably know why) (2) I am in the bathroom - you know this cell phone things ain't water proof - and I never carry it in there - why would I? Do you want to hear me urinating in the background? No? Well I don't want to hear your ideas while I'm lathering up either (3) the battery is dead - stop calling so much and we can eliminate this problem (4) I'm sleeping - sometimes I even sleep during the early afternoon.
Just remember: I'm no dog - I'll call you back when I get a chance (or when I feel like it).